I begged.

Just an awesome piece of writing! The word needs to be spread to bring sensitivity.

I would also like to request you all to watch Fatmagul – a Turkish series that highlights the same issue and shows how the woman strongly fights against this evil and starts her life afresh.

If you would like you can also watch its official Hindi remake titled ‘Kya Qusoor Hai Amla Ka? ” aired on Star Plus.

Trust me – this is th story you need to see!

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How I Ruined My Life!

Well, life isn’t over yet, but a major and very important part of life is over! MY SCHOOL DAYS!

I don’t know whether I have become ignorant or what, but I just don’t care about certain things the way I used to. I don’t miss the school that badly which I expected to. Maybe it is because we have dreams that we look forward to which are more important now than looking back. But still, I feel that I have lost a part of me. My thoughts are messed up. Maybe you will get entangled in the misplaced strings of my thoughts and fumble. This year is going to be a bit difficult for me coz I have ruined my life so badly that I need to clean up all the mess this year. I have to compensate for the things that I could do, but I didn’t. I have to move on and accept the beautiful things that are in front of me, rather than thinking that I deserve them or not. But it is all difficult. To know, that you don’t deserve it, but still you get that privilege to feel special. It is difficult to accept such a thing. It is difficult when you know that all through you have been wrong. Still, you are given something that not many are given. It is easy to forgive others, but it is damn difficult to forgive yourself. Coz we know what all wrong we have done. We know what good have we done, but we don’t want to hide our wrongs behind our good deeds. Because, we know ourselves in and out. We really can’t hide anything from ourselves. It’s always there in our sub-conscious mind. And someday or the other, we have to face our own truth.

 

So, how exactly did I ruin my life.

 

First, I always said to myself, today isn’t perfect. I couldn’t start my day the way I wanted to. So, I wouldn’t start my work today. Let me leave it for tomorrow when I will start the day perfectly and everything will go the way I planned. My mood is off today. I am in no position to study. Let me start off tomorrow when I will feel well. The truth is, there won’t always be a day the same as you planned. Not always there will be preferential circumstances. That’s what life is about. To survive even when situations aren’t in your favour. Well, I couldn’t survive, coz I didn’t realise this fact. And I kept on procrastinating. There came a time when I lagged behind so much. I started underestimating myself and then came the inferiority complex. Thinking of all those people who have been working hard day and night and then looking at myself- I got utterly disgusted at myself for being such a bad person. All the negativities grew up inside me.

 

Second, holding on to past. I never could move on with certain things in my life. I always payed heed to even the smallest detailing in everyday events of my life, giving importance to even the needles in the haystack, when the needle was not even needed. And that’s when I decided that I wouldn’t care anymore. Maybe that’s why I have become ignorant. Or maybe I am just tired of all the overthinking and over-analysis that I have been doing past so many years. I am a different person now. I have done certain things going out of my way, way out of my character. I  have initiated conversations, I have tried to overlook the thought of ‘what people will think’, I have ended certain things with a heavy heart and have started certain friendships with a brave step. But do I love my new personality? Well, I don’t know! At this point of time, I am just blank! Totally blank! Not having fulfilled my parents and teachers’ expectations when I had the potential to. But I would be honest to myself and tell that I did try to do better, but I tried when it was too late.

 

Third, I never could express my feelings. I could never. I could never take steps to spend time with my loved ones. Never could I take steps to let them know how much I cared for them. And this is one of the things that I highly regret and will be regretting throughout my life. And this is something that I can never ever mend. Coz I won’t ever get a chance again. Coz even if I get a chance, it would be very inappropriate to express them.

 

Fourth, I always took time for granted in pursuit of perfection. I never wanted to settle for anything less than perfection. And perfection demanded time. And this pursuit for perfection is not only for the big things in my life, but even for the small day to day happenings. And because of it, I have lost many wonderful opportunities in my life. Opportunities that I could have grabbed and could turn into beautiful memories. And thus, I don’t have many memories to cherish, only a handful! And only those handful memories have been in replay mode since all this time and that makes me mad and obsessive. But I am happy for one thing at least. That I started grabbing opportunities and lately, there have been certain successes in this field! 🙂

 

Knowing about what all wrong I did, doesn’t mean that I am over all of them. But just that- I am midway in mending them. Hopefully, I would be able to clean up the mess in my life, that I myself have created and I would be able to be a happy person!

 

Thanks for reading a post full of negative truths!

 

Thank You!

 

*EDIT –  Because of this post, I landed up on a post related to ‘How to let go of Perfectionism’ if it is having negative effects on you. Here’s the link if any of you are going through the same thing.

https://createcoachingconsulting.com/free-yourself-from-perfectionism/

 

 

Beautiful Music Videos -1

Hey Everyone!

How are you all? I hope you are doing good.

From the past few months I have been wanting to share with you all my favourite music videos which always enthrall me. These are the ones which always fascinate me because of their visual appeal. Here’s a list of my favoutites…

  1. Dola Re Dola (Film- Devdas)

    This ever-green classic dance master-piece from an epic movie ‘Devdas’ which has been made several times by many film-makers, is something that will awe you. The beautifully red-themed grand set, the beauty, grace and excellent dance of the great Indian actresses Aishwarya Rai and Madhuri Dixit is something like bench-mark for the Indian film industry. ‘Pinga’ from Bajirao Mastani is apparently inspired from this dance number. The music is too good which will make you thrive with the beats. Every girl back then would dance on this.

  2. Pehla Nasha (Film- Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander)

    The so called ‘first slow motion song’ was, is and will be the ‘Song of the Lovers’ always. Amazing lyrics, amazing choreography and amazing music, will amaze you with the magic this song creates when you listen it.

  3. Jadoo Hai Tera Hi Jadoo (Film- Ghulaam)

    One line for it – filled with beautiful scenes…

  4. Nimbooda Nimbooda (Film- Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)

    Enchanting music that will drape you in its dance beats, it will make your heart, mind, soul and body dance.

  5. Khuda Jaane (Film- Bachna Ae Haseeno)

    Another all time favorite. And will be an all-time favorite for years to come. Starring the new generation sensations- Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor having an amazing chemistry.

2nd Blog Anniversary

It’s been 2 years now… A good span of time! I love this place. It was two years ago that I started this blog, the day my Board Exams got over. And today, I had almost forgotten that today is the day- the special day, because I was busy preparing for another Board Exam tomorrow.

During these 2 years, a LOT has changed. Not just the physical suuroundings and me ageing physically, but a big inner transformation. There are also many important things in my life that remain absolutely same- some problems that don’t wanna leave me. But these two- three years of my life, I will remember with all its intricacies, with every minute detail, about how my Desire To Express my innermost feelings led me to start this blog; about how I came close to a side of Internet that led me to an awakening- to know myself more; about how I found out my passion; about how I started sitting at the window that opens a vast and amazingly beautiful world!

But unfortunately,the past year in this blog was not SO good, as I wasn’t able to devote my time here. But hopefully, after my exams I would be able to resume this journey full-fledgedly.

Dear Readers and co-bloggers,

Thank you for building such a beautiful place. It’s because of all of you guys! Each one of you all have contributed to build this amazing place. I hope we keep growing together… Years later we will have lots of stories of online friendship, support and inspiration to tell!

 

I would gladly like to tell you all that one of my dearest friends has joined this blog community. This is her blog –Urge To Write.

I hope you guys will like her writing as well. She writes amazing poems. Go check them out!

 

Thank You All!

Love

-Sheetal

 

 

An Incomplete Book

This is so damn good…. Every bit of it…. EVERY SINGLE WORD. Just…… heart wrenching, yet optimistic….

SouL SpeakS

          Everyone has a story and every story has a happy ending, but not every story has an end, some are left incomplete. This story was also left incomplete, it was left incomplete because, she was not able to understand and he was not able to explain. They never knew that they are walking on an incomplete road which was under construction and soon their journey would come to an end and their story would remain incomplete.

View original post 617 more words

Kya Karoon

Bematlab baaton pe ye aankhein ho jaayein ruansa

Bhari bheed mein, inko chhupana mujhe nahi aata

Behad mushkil ho jaaye jab kamzoriyon ko chhupana

Tab wahi asal mein kehlata hai – kamzor ho jaana.

 

Apne aap se gar hone lage nafrat

Pyaar doosron se hi dhoondha karte hain

Bechain ho jaate hain phir har cheez ko lekar

Phir khudi ko chot pahuncha baithte hain.

 

Zindagi bojh to nahi

Par bemanzil safar ban jaati hai

Aise waqt mein

Kaamyaabi bhi khush nahi kar paati hai.

 

Khud se door ho jaayein jab

Paida ho apni qaabiliyat par shak

Bikhar kar reh jaate hain saare armaan

Mar jaate hain saare jazbaat.

 

Khoye rehte hain khud mein hi

Phir bhi khud ka pata nahi

Waqt hai ki kambakht

Behtar hone ka naam leta nahi.

 

Nam hui aankhein ye

Sab dhundhla sa hua

Kya karoon kya nahi

Kuchh bas mein na raha

Samjhoon kaise koi samjhaye

Mujhe kya hua koi bataye

Dil kya kare jab khudi se

Shikayatein hazaar ho jaaye….

Extraordinary Aura Of The Seemingly Ordinary

I don’t know at all, whether I would be able to put up my thoughts clearly in this post. I really don’t know, whether you will get what I am trying to say, coz I myself am quite unclear about it and too much messed up right now. It is something that I have been feeling for quite along time…I don’t know if you will think this as an excuse, as an escape from reality, because even I doubt myself sometimes that I am just making an excuse…

So, let me start. Teenage… most of the readers of this post might be in that age… because we have a sort of circle made up on the blogosphere. Thus, all of us know what it is to be a teenager in the 21st Century… I think most of you might agree to me when I say that Teenage is a phase of emotional turmoil. But, if it gets suffocating, then what? I don’t know where all this discussion is leading me to. But I just wanna go with the flow of my thoughts right now.

Honestly, recently, I have discovered, that almost every other batchmate, every other person who is of my age, has some or the other  kind of emotional/mental problem. People who seem ordinary/average are in fact the greatest conquerors of fear, failures,etc. I have observed that people whom people thought were like nobodies( nobodies in the sense that – they had no special qualities or hobbies) suddenly started seeming so brave and heroic to me. That quiet, seemingly arrogant girl, sitting there busy completing her assignments on time, must have been going through a lot of responsibilities at home. That boy, who gets average marks, but has an idea about every concept and tries to answer, though may not always be correct, might be running errands at home, might be working like that man of the house. The most lovable, always laughing person might be sitting crying when alone. Every other teen out there has faced/is facing a lot of problems daily. But no one tries to understand them. Because mental well-being is not the prime concern of anybody at this age. Even friends can’t understand each other’s real mental state. Honestly, I myself got to know about some of my friend’s problems just now! When we have been friends for pretty good time.

Especially in the Indian scenario, during high school/ senior secondary school, most of us are very very tensed, stressed, depressed, under-confident, and what not! All are able to see and comment on how ‘out of hand’ we have gone as teens. All are able to see what all wrong we do. But nobody, really nobody sees how hard it has been to even stand in front of you all. You would be amazed to know as an adult, how deep our emotions have been as teenagers and how easily we get affected by everything. We do analyse ourselves and we do know ourselves. We are not all careless brats. Even the seemingly careless brats have great plans already made up.And when you see those careless brats doing great in school with awesome level of confidence, and amazing amount of positivity, you start questioning yourself whether you were wrong in being right, mature, careful and perfect in each and every step- the things that have drained you off of your energy now. Why are you not able to perform that well or why you are not able to give your best inspite of all the sacrifices, all the temptations you gave up to be a good student and a good child. You start thinking, why they can hangout, joke around, be aggresive, take part in all the other activities, watch movies, have very good relationships- whether friendship or romantic, but still can give their focus and still make persistent efforts to achieve their dreams. These are the ones who make the perfect balance in everything, these are the seemingly average students as most people term them as. But they are not! They have been through many ups and downs, ran to their friends at the emergency hours, faced being compared with the so called ‘bests’, heard scoldings for hanging out and wasting time, being shouted at to study, worked damn damn hard to reach that desired level of marks. These are the things that have made them strong now. Now, they can face anything. Just because they have went through them during the foundation years of their lives.

 

What about the extremes? People who are either at the top or very low in performance. What about them? The only difference is that after school life they might face problems which start showing up during the last years of school. Why? Because all throughout their school they could not become experienced in handling different situations. Issues related to Confidence, Interpersonal skills, Relationships, Maintaining a perfect balance between Personal and Professional life might show up. Those at top were always praised, those at bottom were never encouraged. So, when suddenly Life throws them challenges of entering a new phase after school, they struggle!

 

This might not be true for all. These are just the things that I have observed around me. These are the things that have concerned me and messed me.