Extraordinary Aura Of The Seemingly Ordinary

I don’t know at all, whether I would be able to put up my thoughts clearly in this post. I really don’t know, whether you will get what I am trying to say, coz I myself am quite unclear about it and too much messed up right now. It is something that I have been feeling for quite along time…I don’t know if you will think this as an excuse, as an escape from reality, because even I doubt myself sometimes that I am just making an excuse…

So, let me start. Teenage… most of the readers of this post might be in that age… because we have a sort of circle made up on the blogosphere. Thus, all of us know what it is to be a teenager in the 21st Century… I think most of you might agree to me when I say that Teenage is a phase of emotional turmoil. But, if it gets suffocating, then what? I don’t know where all this discussion is leading me to. But I just wanna go with the flow of my thoughts right now.

Honestly, recently, I have discovered, that almost every other batchmate, every other person who is of my age, has some or the other  kind of emotional/mental problem. People who seem ordinary/average are in fact the greatest conquerors of fear, failures,etc. I have observed that people whom people thought were like nobodies( nobodies in the sense that – they had no special qualities or hobbies) suddenly started seeming so brave and heroic to me. That quiet, seemingly arrogant girl, sitting there busy completing her assignments on time, must have been going through a lot of responsibilities at home. That boy, who gets average marks, but has an idea about every concept and tries to answer, though may not always be correct, might be running errands at home, might be working like that man of the house. The most lovable, always laughing person might be sitting crying when alone. Every other teen out there has faced/is facing a lot of problems daily. But no one tries to understand them. Because mental well-being is not the prime concern of anybody at this age. Even friends can’t understand each other’s real mental state. Honestly, I myself got to know about some of my friend’s problems just now! When we have been friends for pretty good time.

Especially in the Indian scenario, during high school/ senior secondary school, most of us are very very tensed, stressed, depressed, under-confident, and what not! All are able to see and comment on how ‘out of hand’ we have gone as teens. All are able to see what all wrong we do. But nobody, really nobody sees how hard it has been to even stand in front of you all. You would be amazed to know as an adult, how deep our emotions have been as teenagers and how easily we get affected by everything. We do analyse ourselves and we do know ourselves. We are not all careless brats. Even the seemingly careless brats have great plans already made up.And when you see those careless brats doing great in school with awesome level of confidence, and amazing amount of positivity, you start questioning yourself whether you were wrong in being right, mature, careful and perfect in each and every step- the things that have drained you off of your energy now. Why are you not able to perform that well or why you are not able to give your best inspite of all the sacrifices, all the temptations you gave up to be a good student and a good child. You start thinking, why they can hangout, joke around, be aggresive, take part in all the other activities, watch movies, have very good relationships- whether friendship or romantic, but still can give their focus and still make persistent efforts to achieve their dreams. These are the ones who make the perfect balance in everything, these are the seemingly average students as most people term them as. But they are not! They have been through many ups and downs, ran to their friends at the emergency hours, faced being compared with the so called ‘bests’, heard scoldings for hanging out and wasting time, being shouted at to study, worked damn damn hard to reach that desired level of marks. These are the things that have made them strong now. Now, they can face anything. Just because they have went through them during the foundation years of their lives.

 

What about the extremes? People who are either at the top or very low in performance. What about them? The only difference is that after school life they might face problems which start showing up during the last years of school. Why? Because all throughout their school they could not become experienced in handling different situations. Issues related to Confidence, Interpersonal skills, Relationships, Maintaining a perfect balance between Personal and Professional life might show up. Those at top were always praised, those at bottom were never encouraged. So, when suddenly Life throws them challenges of entering a new phase after school, they struggle!

 

This might not be true for all. These are just the things that I have observed around me. These are the things that have concerned me and messed me.

 

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Dancing Dolls – Episode #7

The clock strikes 4 and just then Alifa reaches the studio. Neil was busy sorting the CDs and was playing one of them, analyzing the music. When he realized that Alifa has entered, he waved her.

“Hey! Come fast here. My head is just spinning like hell”, said Neil.

“What happened?” She puts down her bag and sits with him on the floor.

“I have listened to so many songs, but I’m not able to decide.”

“The more options we have, the more difficult it is to choose. Just a minute.”

She tears out a paper and hands it along with a pen to Neil.

“Here, take this. Let’s list out all the songs we know that match our theme, one which could be used in a Paso Doblè act”, said Alifa.

“Hmm….. You have a great mind, huh???” Lifts an eyebrow. “Cool, we’ll do like this.”

 

Neil stands up , goes towards the big mirror wall- one in which you could not only see your complete self, but the whole group dance together, the one which every dancer dreams to practice in front of. Their classroom was very big. The entrance door is at one corner of the rectangular room.

As you enter the room, you face the wall which is widest, covered full by the mirrors. Towards the right and left there are big windows, the ones of the Victorian era, with a rectangular frame and a rounded window top- like an arch, and their hung nice light blue floral curtains. The left and the back walls also have ‘ballet barres’. These are rods attached to the walls at a height from the ground, holding which you can do various exercises which require balancing skills or can even be used to help in stretching up- most commonly used by ballet students.

 

Neil sat down on the floor with his back rested on the mirror wall.

“Alifa, come here with me, I wanna relax”, said Neil.

“Haha, okay!”

Alifa also joins him. Alifa presses her palms on the floor and slides herself down so that she can rest leisurely on the mirror wall.

 

“The first song that I can think of is- umm – Man Basiyo Saanwariyo”, said Alifa.

“But that song would be – umm – a girl trying to grab the attention of a boy. But in our act, it would be I trying to control you coz you are the ‘BULLLLLL’ and I am the matador.” He gives a smirk towards the left side of his face.

“I am the bull???….. Am I???”

“Haha….. Hey! I mean, you’ll be…. in our dance…. Right???”

“Okay” (smiles) “Yeah, so we can’t take this. Cut it.”

“Senorita…..”

“Come on dumbo! That’s for TAP and also it’s a fun song, can’t be used in a passionate and intense form.”

Lifts a brow. “Dumbo??? Revenge, huh?”

She circled the inside of our cheek with her tongue playfully and turned her face to the other side smiling. “Tu hi tu satrangi re?”

“Hmm… Not bad… It’s nice. Hey! I have something better. That song you remember?… What was it?…Umm…haan…Rama tu kya kiya… Something like that.”

“Hehehe… You can’t even remember a song… That song was –“

Alifa starts singing-

“Haye Rama yeh kya hua

Kyun aise hume satane lage…”

 

Neil also sings-

“Tum kitna achha gaati ho

Yeh aaj hume pata chale…”

 

Alifa realizes that she was swayed away by her inner hobby of singing. She was actually singing! So, quite embarrassed, she looked towards Neil and blushed. And quickly turned her face down looking at the floor.

 

Neil says, “I never knew you were such a nice singer…(smiles) Okay, this is it. We are going for this song.”

 

“Yeah, it’s a powerful song to dance upon. Its beats make my feet tap involuntarily. A passionate routine can be choreographed on that…”

“Yeah, definitely.”

 

They both gave a high-five to each other and started laughing.

*BANG*

Neil and Alifa were startled by the sound. Alifa’s heart started beating fast but just for a few seconds. 5-6 juniors from the Intermediate Batch slammed the door open and entered the room fighting with each other at the top of their voices.

“Hey, you were doing wrong…..”

“No, you…”

“Neil bhaiya, Alifa di, can you please help us?”, requested a medium-heighted girl. “Samsons are out for an important work. We have some co-ordination issues, so we need somebody to check on us”, intervened the other guy who had been shouting the most a few seconds before. “Can you please just see where we aren’t in sync and correct our mistakes??”, said a girl with a puppy face.

Neil and Alifa looked at each other and smiled at the innocent seriousness of their Juniors and said together, “Yeah, why not? Let’s go…”

 

***

While coming out from the Intermediate Batch Studio…

Neil- Oh God! Our juniors are so annoying.

Alifa- Took the hell out of me. Hear my voice… my vocal cords have got ruptured; I needed to shout so much to calm them down… (She sees her watch) Oh My God! It’s 6:30. I need to get back home.

Neil- But we didn’t even start our practice yet.

Alifa- Yeah, I know… But I can’t stay back. My mom is a bit ill today and no one else is at home. So, I need to be with her.

Neil- Even if you stay, it’s no good, coz we have no idea what we are going to do.

Alifa- Yeah, exactly. Tomorrow, when Samsons will be back, we’ll discuss with them about our routine.

Neil- Yes we would surely do. But before that we need to do our homework first.

Alifa- ??? (She gave him a puzzled look.)

Neil- We need to see some videos first, to get ideas. Umm… You told you have some DVDs… Why don’t we have a look at them at your home?

Alifa- Yeah, we can but…

Neil- No ‘but’s.   See, you’ll be with your mom and we’ll get our work also done.

Alifa- Okay, then. Let me call my mum first…

Neil- No, don’t tell her. If she knows that a friend of yours is coming there for the first time, she’ll start preparing something for me… Afterall… Indian moms you know. She needs to rest. Don’t tell.

Alifa- Okay.(She blushes hidingly and says to herself, “Aww! He’s so considerate.)

***

They reach Alifa’s home at about 6:45 pm. Her mom opened the door.

Alifa-  Mom, he is Neil. I am performing with him in the Qualifiers.

Mom- Oh!

Neil- (Joins his hands) Namastey Aunty! How are you feeling now? Alifa told me you aren’t doing well today.

Mom- Oh Thanks, beta! I am fine now. I was sleeping the whole day as I had the house all to myself with no one disturbing me. Haha.

Neil- Yeah, you look fine. Great!

Mom- Come in, beta.

 

All enter the house.

 

Mom- What would you like to have, Neil? Something hot or cold?

Neil- Nothing Aunty, don’t worry. If I want something, your daughter is there no? You just rest. By the way, I am here for a work. You get well soon, then I will surely come for a ‘daawat’- prepared by you. Now, fine?

Mom- Yeah, okay. Haha!

 

Alifa’s mom heads towards her room. Alifa too follows her.

Alifa- Mom, he has come here to watch those Annual Function DVDs. Don’t worry, he’ll leave early. And he is just a classmate and my dance-partner, nothing more than that.

Mom- (slapped her lightly) Dumb girl! Did I ask you for explanation? Neil is such a nice boy and girl you don’t need to give so much explanation, unless I ask you to, of course! Go, get something to eat and drink.

Alifa- (Smiles and hugs her mom) You are the best, mummy!

 

Yes, Alifa was quite considerate towards everyone. Even though she had parents with quite modern thinking, she always tried to see situations from their point of view and took each step according to that. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, even unintentionally. She always thought many times – both about the ‘pro’s and ‘con’s- before doing anything.

 

However, her parents were just opposite. They trusted her and always let her do whatever she wanted to.

 

Alifa brings two cups of hot coffee. Neil is sitting on the sofa in front of TV, sorting out the DVDs that Alifa gave him. Alifa hands him the coffee and sits down on the sofa too. Both sip coffee and see the dance routines and discuss. Alifa was really tired so she dozed off to sleep on Neil’s shoulders.

Neil turned to face her, to get her upright and rest on the sofa. But he couldn’t. Something struck his soul and heart and his heart went fast. What it was, even he didn’t know- it could have been Alifa’s face – average looking like any other girl but with beautiful eyes or it might have been her cute face with a peaceful smile while sleeping or it could have been her entire personality.

What struck Neil for a moment, made him think not to disturb her peaceful nap. He didn’t want t disturb her. So, he let her rest on his shoulders while he watched different dance videos.

 

It became quite late watching those videos, as the clock struck at 9:30. Neil realized that it was too late. He thought that Alifa’s mom was sick, so it wouldn’t be good if she has to prepare the dinner. He didn’t want Alifa’s sleep to break off either. And he didn’t know how to cook. His heart said to him, what is it, that has made him so much caring, especially for Alifa whom he barely knows. But he shooed away these thoughts and decided to continue with his former thoughts. He decided to order the dinner from a restaurant.

He waited for 20 minutes when the door bell rang. He turned to put Alifa away from him. He was about to grab her shoulders, just then Alifa herself woke up due to the continuous ringing of the bell. She realized, she was resting on his shoulders. She looked at him to analyse his reaction. She caught his gaze. Both looked into each other’s eyes. Alifa’s rose-petal eyes met Neil’s almond-shaped, slightly round, pearl-like eyes, so white and shining, with a black dark pupil. It was only after a few seconds that they realized that and Alifa turned away from him, quite embarrassed. Neil also didn’t know how to react.

 

He rose up from the sofa, went to the door, opened it, took the bag with dinner in it and handed it to Alifa, told her why he did so, and left.

 

Alifa was quite amazed seeing all that was going on in front of her eyes. Alifa’s hidden inner analyst wouldn’t let her sleep tonight.

***

Alifa was tired that night, but since she had taken a short nap, she thought she is fine now. So she decided to study for at least an hour. She took out her Political Science book. Yes, she was an Arts student and so was Neil. But it was not even 10 minutes since she had opened her book that she started feeling restless.

 

ALIFA’S P.O.V.

It was weird and surprising, how caringly he acted today. I was resting my head on his shoulders and he didn’t even wake me up. I woke up when the doorbell rang. It was shocking for me to realise that we were so close to each other. I was confused what was happening to me. I looked into his eyes. I could see the same confusion in his eyes. First time in my life I saw him like this. I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that we would be so close. My heart started pounding fast. But my eyes were stuck on his and his on mine. I could feel some connection between us. But what was it?

 

No, nothing is there between us more than friendship and dance partnership. I like him quite a bit and that’s why I am thinking all this. I always over-analyse things.

But why did he care for me so much? Oh God! Ahh, don’t I know that he is a very friendly person and can do anything for his friends. It was just a small friendly act – that dinner and all – of course it’s a bit uncomfortable to me since I am not used to such caring behavior even from my male friends. When they do it, even then sometimes I feel uncomfortable, coz I’m an introvert. It is nothing more than that. Ahh! My head is aching. I should go to sleep else my head will burst.

 

NEIL’S P.O.V.

(While lying on his bed)

What happened to me today? I have done these kind of things to so many friends before, including girls, but why does it feel different so different today? Ah, No! It is nothing. It is just because she’s still a not a close friend of me. She’s just my dance partner and my classmate and still I did this for her, that’s why I feel awkward.

When I saw her resting on my shoulders, it seemed she was very peacefully sleeping and it felt like she belonged there and she owned that place. When we caught gaze of each other, I felt her eyes so captivating that I couldn’t take my eyes off her. But I was confused. I didn’t know what was happening to me.

It’s all normal, nothing special. It happens sometimes. I am tired now.

(And he slept.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1st BLOG ANNIVERSARY

Today was the day one year ago, that I started on this life-changing journey in this blogging world. And today, I feel proud to have been welcomed by the amazing people here. Not all discover this place, not all experience the joy of writing here, not all experience the elation to meet new people, not all are into blogging, not all gain the gifts it has in store for all of us, free and impartial.

 

Last year, this same day, I had my last Board exam. The year had been going the worst. I had never ever experienced such mental issues in my life. But, today I can proudly say that I have moved on far from that state of me, far from that dark era, far from that low-point. And I have won over it, if not completely, then at least I can say that I am almost over it now.

 

My introduction to this beautiful corner of universe made me realise that Internet is not just entertainment or those social media accounts or just Google or just the researches that we do for our projects. It is so much more than that. To have stumbled up and landed on this site was one of the best parts of my life and I am 200% sure that I would never regret this decision.

 

Even after getting pretty good results in Boards, there was something that was constantly bothering me, even I didn’t know exactly what it was. I had shared many of my feelings and also about my condition on my blog and when I heard the same stories in a different way from other fellow-bloggers, I gained some confidence. I read about how they coped with their problems and it made me think how much these guys have strength in them. Those bloggers inspired me to strive to work for my well-being. And I tried. But it was not within a day that I changed.

 

To be a part of the teen community which consists of people with such brilliant minds is something which binds me to WordPress. I am the kind of person who knows the virtual threats, but still doesn’t step back to make friends online whom I have never met. And trust me, the risk is worth it if you have the confidence to handle problems in this virtual world, if any.

 

The last one year of my life can be termed as the ‘Internet’ era. Yes, not just WordPress, but there’s this another site that I have been very active on. And that is Quora. This is a question-answer website where I read really attractive answers to different varieties of questions from many amazing people. And I have had nice conversations with a few of them. Trust me, meeting and socializing with people, and and and learning something from each of them is the best thing you can do to yourself while just having a simple chat with people. By writing just now about inspirations, I remembered something that I wanna share with y’all.

 

This blog has given me two nice friends. And they are the ones whom I have been missing from quite some time.

These are Amy from Every Word You Say and Rachel from everythingrachel1. These girls have become my net-buddies. But they are inactive here from quite a long time. Amy is probably busy at her University for which she was really excited from so long. So, if any of you guys read this, I wanna tell you that I have been missing you and I want you to update me with all the happenings of your lives! 😉

 

I had always wanted to voice my thoughts. And this blog has given me that channel. And somewhat it has made me addicted here on WP. Now addiction doesn’t mean that I post daily. But, if I have got something to say and it’s an important issue for me I will definitely put it up here. And this gives me so much freedom and independence.

 

I love exploration. And when I explored this site which I had become a fan of, I recommended it to my friends and three of them have followed my recommendation and have started their own blog. One hasn’t written anything yet though, but the other two have 2 and 1 posts respectively. I am sure if you guys follow them, it will motivate them to write more.

So here are their links. Please check if you are free now!

voiceoffeelings

saffrontrailabliss

 

So, coming up to my journey again. Well, nothing much is left to tell you know. But yeah, as I have said in my earlier post, I would like to write it again.

 

Writing has helped me eradicate my worries, my tensions, my mind’s preoccupation, my sadness, my anguish, my outbursts of frustration.

 

Starting a blog made me curious to explore the internet world more. The past year, I have started reading books. But the ones I actually enjoy are the books which are not written by those pro-authors, but they are no less than the pros. They are like you and me. Probably busy in their schools or colleges or initial years of job. But again, like you and me, they also find time to pursue their passion. They write and they beautifully write.

So, I would like to tell you about another site that I have been using past maybe 6 months. The site is BookRix.com. This is a site where anyone can have their own books published in the form of an e-book. And they are super-fun to read.

I have read a Howl In the Night by Lorelei Sutton –  a common fantasy story of werewolves. But what makes such books special for me is the personal touch that the authors give to the characters. So relatable and so attractive characters that you long for those qualities to become yours. This is true not only for the story that I have told you about, but I think it is true for almost all the books at BookRix coz the authors there, are people of our age. And that is the most striking feature that appeals to us to logon there and read some amazing stuff. I am currently reading the MoonCreak series by J A Booker. If you feel like, you can search these books there on BookRix.

 

So, yeah, that was all that I wanted to share about me and my one year long journey here on my lovely blog Desire To Express.

 

I hope this journey continues as long as I live and every year becomes special and each year I learn something more, earn something from here more and experience something from here more, much more than this year.

 

I hope this Teen Community of such amazing people flourishes more and does something good to someone.

 

Cheers to WordPress!

Cheers to all the Bloggers!

 

Thank you all so much for walking by me on this beautiful, magnificent, mesmerizing and a life-changing journey.

 

And, Congratulations to me for my Blog’s 1 year anniversary!!!! J

 

Love You All

-Sheetal

A Simple Request

Now, this is it.. The perfect message….

memoirsofatroubledteen

You beckoned and I came running, so willing I was to do whatever was necessary to keep you happy.
At first I gave you my attention.
Following you around like a lost puppy, hanging on your every word and listening to the sound of your voice as you spoke softly and beautifully, I was glad to give you the importance I felt you so rightly deserved.
Then, I gave you my thoughts.
Day and night my mind would have its dalliances with the thought of you, your smile, your laugh, all of you.
After this I gave you my heart even though it was of no use to you. Then I gave you my time, I gave you my tears, I gave you my words. Slowly but surely, I gave it all to you.
So now, I stand here with nothing left to give and a simple request.
You can keep…

View original post 8 more words

Struggle

Life becomes miserable

at one point of time

In spite of all the happiness outside

it’s sheer loneliness inside.

 

You feel

“you are at your lowest point,

you can’t go beneath that,

so all there’s left

is just to rise

rise & rise & walk up and high

until you reach your set goal.”

It is a hope

which you have got instilled in your heart.

You are confident throughout

that in spite of all the odds out here

you will come up as a strong person.

You even start stepping forward to that way

but the result is only to your dismay

You instantly realise then,

all this time you had been showing

off of you, which is not at all you

All this time, you felt empty inside

but had created a group of friends around you.

 

You try to work for

what you want to achieve

but a sudden random incident from the past

throws water over all your hard attempts.

You feel again and realise

how broken you are

unable to devote yourself

to anyone completely.

 

There comes a time

when you can’t even cry at bad times.

But there also comes a time

when you try to find excuse to cry

just coz all this time

you had been accumulating your tears

and they had to come out some day.

So, they come unexpectedly sometimes

with no reason, when it is not a bad time!

I am grateful to you

Date: 20th Feb’2016

This life is so strange. This world is so weird. Sometimes, the people whom you least expect from, give the best happiness in an awful time. A call from a long lost friend made my day so good, but at the same time made me so sad. Now, I can’t help but keep on thinking of the golden memories of the past which seem far today, which are so precious to me. The past of any person always seems so beautiful. And in teen life, it seems like a mirage, amidst the search for an oasis in our deserted lives. My aunt had once said, ” Don’t be so emotional, it will make things difficult for you.” Guess she is right. Why can’t I be practical? Even the small events trigger my memory and I, sit with a heavy heart, longing for those days to come back.

 

Sometimes, you don’t realise anything unless someone points it out to you. That friend said me, “Yaar, those days in Francis were the best days.” Then I realised, how good days I have spent and am still spending here. No bunking of classes, no revolutionary rule-breaking, but still that enjoyment; life was so good then.

 

But today, I fear to go back to my memories to live them again. I fear, I will get lost in them again. But that doesn’t mean I’ve stoppped being nostalgic completely. At times, they do haunt me. People from the past come to my dreams out of nowhere, so often. There are many people whom I will not tag as my Best Friends, nor will they, but still they all have played such an important role in my life, that I can never forget them in my wildest dreams.

 

I thank you all my friends (my classmates and all other schoolmates) from the past and the present as well, for sharing such beautiful moments of life with me!

 

It’s not important that those people remain your friends for life, but every single moment that you enjoyed with someone- known or unknown, important to you or not, that each moment is a bliss and that is what we call the true gift of life.

 

This is why humans are social animals. This is why humans and all other living beings have emotions. No matter how practical we become in life, our emotions are the driving force of our behaviour. These emotions are our topmost priority. And these emotions are all what really matter to us!

Dancing Dolls- Episode 6

 

Recap-

Neil was trying to talk to Alifa, but she constantly kept on ignoring him. He texted her, asking her to meet him the next day at 7:30 a.m in the studio. He wanted to talk to her about something really important.

 

EPISODE 6

 

 

The next day was a Sunday, so there was no school and the NRS was filled with the dance students from the morning itself. Neil was waiting for Alifa since 7:10 am. He was worried and was walking continuously from one end of the room to the other, completely lost in the confusions of his mind. His mind was wondering whether Alifa would come or not. But his heart said that she would surely come, because she was very considerate towards others. His heart was right! How could Alifa not come to the person whose happiness mattered to her the most.

 

Yes, she came at about 7:40.

 

On seeing her, Neil was so relieved and ran up to her and gave her a tight hug. Alifa did not reciprocate coz if she had done, she would have fell down for him again.

 

Neil-   I am so glad you are here. I was so worried whether you would come or not.

Alifa- Say, why did you call me this early and so urgently?

 

Neil- Just a sec…. (He brings two sitting cubes near Alifa.) Please sit down first. (They both sit.) ……. First tell me, are you upset with anything that I have ever said to you?

Alifa- No, not at all.

Neil- Then why were you ignoring me? I tried to talk to you so many times but every time you walked away.

(Alifa’s whole body became still for a moment. She wasn’t able to decide what to speak.)

Alifa- No, you are thinking…..

Neil- (interrupting)….. See, I know you are upset and angry. And I even know why you are angry. So, there’s no good in hiding anything.

 

You are upset with me because I refused to dance with you, right?

(Alifa did not say anything. She tries to avoid his gaze biting her lip with her eyes wandering here and there. She wasn’t able to say anything.)

Neil- Your silence tells that I am right.

See, Alifa……

(Neil keeps both his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him.)

Listen, I am sorry for what I have done……… I kept both of our careers as well as the reputation of NRS on stake, just for my selfish reasons….. I am really sorry.

(Tears rolled down from his eyes as he said those words.)

I should have thought about it before, but you know na how stupid I am…

 

(Seeing Neil for the 1st time in this avatar, Alifa also started crying with him, for she was the most sensitive girl one could ever meet with.)

Alifa- Hey…….. Shhh…..

Don’t be sorry yaar. Everybody makes mistakes. If you genuinely regret it and apologise from your heart, it’s fine.

Neil- Did you forgive me?

Alifa- I was never angry with you….. (in her mind- “How can I be? I was just handling my awkward self! Sorry for this rude behavior.”)

Neil- Oh God! Thanks…..

Thank you, Alifa. You don’t know how much better you made me feel.

Alifa- Was it just this thing for which you called me so urgently???

(She gave a puzzled look with her eyebrows lifted up.)

Neil- No!

Alifa, I have been practicing with Jazz for about 3 days now, but…….I…….I…….I shouldn’t say this, but…..there’s something missing between us. I mean…….we don’t get the steps perfectly like they should be. I am not saying she’s a bad dancer, but you know na, her forte is traditional/folk/Indian type and we are doing Paso Doble. I do like her a lot, but I’m sure that is not at all helping us in the chemistry which is needed for this routine.

Alifa- Hmm…. So now, what do you think you’ll do???

Neil- (Holds her hands)

Will you please please please dance with me? I have always admired you for your dance. You are so flawless. You are a ballerina. No one else can do this international form better than you…. Alifa, will you please be with me this time?

Alifa- (Thinking……)

(Oh God! He says there is something missing between him and Jazz…. And he is asking me to dance with him! Does he think that we both can have a better chemistry than him and Jazz?? He is saying I am flawless in dance….Oh God! Why this???- when I’m trying to walk away from him. I know he can never like me, then why?…… Umm, I think it’s not necessary for me that even he feels the same for me. But it would have been better. But still, what’s wrong to dance with him??? After all, I’ve always wanted to!!!)

Neil- What happened? Where are you lost?? What do you say? Whether you will………?

Alifa- Yes!

Neil- Thank you so much Alifa.

(Takes out something from his pocket)

Here, take this- a ‘Thank You’ gift from me.

(He hands her a chocolate bar.)

Alifa- But what about Jazz? Have you talked to her about this?

Neil- No, but I’ll handle it with her. She won’t disagree with me. She will take up the ‘Female Duet’ again.

Alifa- Okay then, great!

When are we starting our practice?

Neil- Tomorrow– Monday.

With a new week, with a new partner, we will start a new routine. Everything new & fresh! (winks at Alifa)

 

(Alifa in turn gave him a big smile. Her eyes sparkling like stars!)

 

^^^^^

Next Day

 

Alifa was up awake by 5:00 am. She sipped her coffee which her mom had brought to her, as soon as she woke up. Alifa had the most loving family which consisted of her house-oriented mother, her father with so-modern outlook and her sweet, straight and simple but quite athletically built strong, muscular, elder brother – who was 3 years older to her. Her mom and dad looked so beautiful together. Alifa had savoured one of their young-age photos in which they stood together and looked really like “Bollywood Hero & Heroine”. Her mom looked really young and no one could guess her age. Her father, although had an athletic body, but his face was withered from the many years’ continuous hard-core work. She also had a granny- who also looked very young with an awesome glow in her face- might have been very beautiful when she was young.

 

So, this was her family- a middle-class typical Indian family.

 

After having coffee, Alifa went straight to her terrace, spread out her Yoga Mat in the light of the early sun and started on her daily Yoga Routine.

 

She was a perfectionist and was very active in everything. What was called ‘being lazy’- she didn’t know, coz she had never ever experienced that.

 

After 45 minutes of Yoga and 15 minutes of Aerobics, she went down to take a bath and get ready for school…..She reached the school at 7:15 am. The school used to begin at 7:30.

 

^^^^^

 

**Tringgggggg!!!!!!!!!**

The bell rang for recess.

 

A few girls- Neil’s best friends, surrounded him for their usual chat. Alifa opened up her Tiffin Box which had vegetable sandwich, sprouts and some dry fruits. She was a true dancer—she had not only practiced her postures and steps so well, but had also practiced a perfect balanced diet for years. She was ‘almost’ perfect in her field. Amaya- Alifa’s best friend, was sitting next to her.

 

Neil excused his friends and rushed to Alifa. He sat in front of Alifa’s bench and faced towards her and said-

 

“I have selected a few songs…. We both will decide which one is to be chosen amongst them….”

“Yeah, it’s fine!”

Neil sees her tiffin.

“Oh! Can I have one?”

“Yeah, why not? Take!”

Alifa and Amaya were quite amazed and shared a 2-second glance with each other. Neil had never been so friendly with her.

 

“Thanks Alifa! You always bring healthy stuff, I guess! You know na, I ‘m so lazy. I can’t manage my own breakfast. Yeah, my mom does, but she makes the tiffin according to my younger brother’s likes and dislikes! She has no time to make two separate dishes! So, the whole family has to bear with my bro’s choices! Ah, poor me! My mum is a working lady, so she is very busy always and I can’t argue with her on that…..especially for such ‘food’ issues! Hahah….”

 

“Hey! Yaar, it’s fine! Come on! Here, take this also. I have already had a really heavy breakfast today before leaving home.”

 

“No..no…no… You eat! Listen! I have also downloaded a few videos and they are awesome. Today in the evening, first we’ll see them and then we’ll start our practice.”

 

“Sure. Listen. I have the Annual Function DVD of my previous school at Agra. Once, some of them performed Paso Doble. I will bring the DVD of that.”

 

“That would be great! So done! Today, 4:00 pm sharp! Okay???”

 

“Yeah, done!”

 

Neil snags away some sprouts from Alifa’s lunchbox and goes to his place-

“Thanks for this!”

Alifa and Amaya  laugh…

Dancing Dolls – Episode 5

Recap

Samar and Sonya, the owners of the NRS and their teacher, enter the Advanced Batch Studio room and inform about the Qualifier Round and the performances to be done. Just then, Jasleen , a former student of the NRS enters the room. Neil gets excited on seeing her.



 

EPISODE 5

 

Sonya- Oh, yay, she is here. Guys, welcome Jasleen, ah sorry, I mean Jazzlin and her friends. Her friends will be assisting us in organizing everything.

 

All- Yay! Hi Jazzlin! Welcome!

(All clap for her.)

 

Alifa- (Whispering into Neil’s ears)

You were saying that you are happy that she’s here. Why’s that?

 

(Sonya started speaking again and Alifa & Neil listen to her.)

 

Sonya- The third performance would be a Male Duet. We have our buddies- Shlok and Rehaan going for that.

 

(Shlok and Rehaan stand up and wave hands to the rest of them.)

(All hoot for them.)

 

Samar- The last performance but one of the most important is the Couple Performance. The Male-Female Duet.

 

Couple performance opens up a wide variety of possibilities to experiment upon. It has no restrictions. We can choose any theme in a couple performance. The rest kinds have some limitations. A good couple dance needs just two honest and passionate dancers with good understanding and chemistry between them. They don’t require exceptional choreography, coz if they are honest with themselves, their passion and with each other, they can beautify even the simplest steps. If they know each other well, and are good dancers, they have least issues.  While group dancers have co-ordination issues, this type can in fact, be the best in that.

 

Couple dances offer masculine physical strength for lifts and abilities to control everything as well as feminine grace and expressions and flexibility.

 

In all, it is the most special and important kind. So, for this we have two very special people, the hearts of the NRS – Neil and Alifa.

 

Cheers for them.

 

All- Yay!!!

 

Samar- Most of you had already guessed about this one , right?

 

All- Yeah, Samson!!!

 

Alifa- (to Neil) God! I am really excited.

 

Sonya- Any suggestions for the dance performances are welcomed. Tell us if you are good with your partners.

 

Neil- (to Alifa) Hey Alifa! I need to tell you something.

I really like Jazzlin. I really do. I have had a crush on her since the first day she entered the NRS. And I always wanted to dance with her, but never could.

Alifa, listen, I’m really sorry, but I hope you understand. Can you please help me perform this duet with her, if you don’t mind?

 

(Alifa had tears in her eyes but she wiped them before Neil could see them.)

 

Neil- Look, I am really sorry, but please, now you know na, how much I like her. This is the chance and the only way to get to her.

 

Alifa- (sighing) Yeah, okay. But how do we do that?

 

Neil- Listen, I’m going to talk to Sonya about it. You just accompany me, and agree with me and say that you are very very comfortable with & are in good friendship with the other girl Siyaali in the folk, who is to perform with Jazzlin.

 

Alifa- Hmm… Okay. As your wish Neil.

 

Neil- (hugs Alifa)

Aww, Alifa, thank you so much. You are such a darling.

 

 

 

 

He realizes that he hugged her, even though they were not so good friends . He immediately loosened his arms around her and gave a big smile to her. Alifa replied with a fake smile, tapped him on his shoulders and said, “Go, I am coming.”

 

Again tears started filling up in her eyes, but this time she let them fall. She was really sad, all her dreams were shattered. She had been so excited for this day. But she had no other option, except his happiness, of course!

 

 

Next day while practice, she saw both Neil and Jasleen, practicing together. They were good but she thought that Neil and she herself would have been much more better. She cried a bit, then convinced herself that now she can’t do anything about it. So, better she should focus on her performance. She started ignoring thoughts of Neil, as everytime she thought of him, it made her feel really sad and hopeless.

 

Three days later, Neil approached her and said that he wanted to talk something really important. Alifa ignored him and said that she had an important work. She then left for home. She now knew that she can never gain his love. So, it is better to stay away from him to control her feelings and focus on her career.

 

When at home, she cried a lot and recalled her moments with him. But then, she reminded herself about Neil’s attraction towards Jasleen and tried to stop his thoughts from coming to her mind. She slept with her face wet with tears.

 

Next morning, with a bit positive attitude, she left for school.

 

Yes, Neil and Alifa had been studying in the same school for past 6 years. This was their last year in the school. They were in 12th and in a few months their school life would end.

They were studying together since they were in class 7th. Alifa had shifted in to this city Bengaluru, from Agra. She then joined her current school St. Louis High School the same year and also joined the NRS Studio the next year- when she was in class 8th.Neil had joined NRS 1 year before Alifa.

 

Alifa had started liking Neil the day she saw him perform in the school stage, on Teacher’s Day. Everybody knew Neil to be a great dance performer and a good student.

 

But Neil never took notice of Alifa, neither as a classmate nor as a dancer because in the NRS, they were in separate batches. It was only the last year in class 11th that Alifa reached the Advanced Batch, where Neil had already reached an year before her. It was then that Neil started admiring her for her excellent dance.

 

She reached the school and entered the class. Neil was already there and was waiting for Alifa to come. Neil and Alifa had started to be normal friends since the start of class 12th. He tried to talk to her but could not, since she ignored him again. Neil talked to one of her friends Amaya and took her number.

 

After school, when Neil reached home, he texted Alifa.

 

“Plz plz Alifa, plz reach d studio early 2mrw by 7:30 am. I hv smthng really imp 2 talk abt.”

 

Neil now doubted that Alifa was upset with him because he had refused to perform the duet- the most important and highlighting performance with her. He wished everything to be alright and slept with a hope of a better morning tomorrow.