Dancing Dolls – Episode 1


Hello everyone! I am on an experiment now. So, I start with the very 1st episode of the story (The Experiment) written by me. Well, let’s not call it a chapter, I want it to be an episode- like the one you see in serials, films – the one you imagine, co-relate and visualise. Most importantly because, I have written it as if I was writing a film script. Because I have very Utopian visions and am a fantasy-lover. If it works out and you people like it, I would go on with the story episodically. So make sure to comment and tell me your views and yes, of course, constructive criticisms are really needed now ( for me at least).




Dancing Dolls – Episode #1

Today was going to be the best day of her life- the day she had always wished for. She was so excited that although she had set the alarm, she herself woke up just a minute before the alarm rang, sharp at 5:00 am. Slowly opening the shutters of her eyes, she smiled to herself and thought about the day- gifted by God himself to her, after her loads of wishes and requests to him for the fulfillment of her ardent desire. She was a pure, honest soul and had a beautiful mind, so God definitely had to give her this day. She was going to have the taste of the true happiness of her life.

Realising that she had already wasted her 10 minutes on visualising her dream, which was not going to be her dream anymore, but the reality itself, she immediately jumped out of her bed. She did not want any single mess this morning. The thought of the day constantly made her smile as she was really very excited.

She then went inside the bathroom to freshen up. While brushing, she was playing the music in her mind and also shaking and waving her body rhythmically, trying to fit in the most beautiful steps in the music. This really made her late. So now, she seriously got worried and in a haste came out of the bathroom, completely fresh, fragrant and fluorescent, emitting all the positive energy the morning had imbibed in her that day. She wanted to look extremely gorgeous today. But she didn’t want to make-up much- as it would give her an odd look, not acceptable on normal days. So, she just combed her hair which she thought was quite stylish as well as suited her the most- the one because of which he had complimented her for the first time. She sprayed a mild cologne all over her torso. She had picked the best dancing outfit for practice she had- peach coloured. And then, she went out on the way to that place by her bike, with all the visualizations of her dream still in her mind.


Make sure to leave comments below to let me know my loop-holes. πŸ™‚

-Sheetal

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17 comments

  1. Bhramori · July 21, 2015

    I think you should probably modify the first two paragraphs a bit — they sound a little crude. It’s an interesting piece, though — I’m curious as to what happens next! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sheetal Pahadi · July 21, 2015

      Oh thank you. Will try to make it better πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bhramori · July 21, 2015

        πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

        • Sheetal Pahadi · July 21, 2015

          Changed the beginning paras. Please do check out and let me know if they are any better than the previous version πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

          • Bhramori · July 21, 2015

            Today was going to be the best day of her life – the day she had always wished for. She was so excited that she woke up even before the alarm rang. Slowly opening the shutters of her eyes, she smiled to herself and thought about this God-gifted day that she had got after loads of requests and prayers. It seemed like He had finally heard her. After days of waiting, the ardent desire of this pure, beautiful soul was going to be fulfilled. She was going to taste true happiness.

            Realising that she had already wasted 10 precious minutes on visualising her dream (which was not going to be her dream anymore, she thought with giddy excitement, but the reality itself), she immediately jumped out of her bed. She did not want a single thing to go wrong this morning. Or throughout the day, for that matter. She wanted everything to be just perfect. Even the thought of it made her smile.

            Does this look good? πŸ™‚ It’s just a suggestion, of course.

            Liked by 2 people

            • Sheetal Pahadi · July 21, 2015

              Its awesome…….. Just awesome….. If you have done this just to suggest me, I am very very glad and thankful and I think it should be made useful. so, if you allow shall I put this instead of mine (in the beginning). ???

              Liked by 1 person

            • Sheetal Pahadi · July 21, 2015

              Hey! Could you suggest a better Title????
              Will be very grateful to you. πŸ™‚

              Like

  2. everythingrachel1 · July 22, 2015

    Hey just saying great story! And also I think the title is great you shouldn’t change it, and personally I liked your version of the start better than Bhramori’s

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sheetal Pahadi · July 22, 2015

      Oh Thank you so much. Well the one now is not the original- it is my improvised version. The earlier one was even small.

      Well thanks for liking the story. Stay tuned for the upcoming episodes. Its gonna be a bit different than usual stories. πŸ™‚
      Thanks again πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Stars Of Life · July 26, 2015

    Writing up a story after writing few articles is a next step to the glory of our writings.. and you have stepped inside it! That’s awesome! I’m sure that this will be a hit! Don’t worry about the corrections, it happens πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ Actually, I’m too working on a book, that’s why I wasn’t active here and neither I wrote anything from more than a month.. that’s why.. but in few days I’ll be back again! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Dancing Dolls- Episode 3 | Desire To Express
  5. Pingback: Dancing Dolls – Episode 2 | Desire To Express
  6. Pankhudi singh · February 25, 2016

    I think u should add more visualizations to her dream abt wat she really was xcited about …plz modify it if u like😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sheetal Pahadi · February 25, 2016

      That’s the suspense dear…. that will be revealed in the next episode. πŸ™‚

      Like

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