Say No to Suicidal Thoughts !

I just thought it would be best to let people know that there are people who will surely get affected if you die.

Please never do this!

Thanks ‘Every Word You Say’ for this!

Every Word You Say

I had no intention of writing this post, and up until last night I didn’t think I could. But then I typed in the word ‘Suicide’ into the search bar of this site and I came across hundreds of people who are thinking about taking their own life, and there is no way in hell I’m going to do nothing because if I can even make one person realise they are important then it will have been worth it.

In less than 48 hours it will be the anniversary of my best friend’s death. Joshua was aged 12 when he hung himself on Wednesday 19th May 2010. He left behind two guilty parents, one heartbroken sister, and me, a damaged 11 year old girl. Joshua was beautiful. He was also very gay and everyone knew it, and of course this led to bullying. It got to the point where he…

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Which is your best part of the day?

My favorite and best parts of the day are –

Early morning [5-8 : If during vacations I have the courage to wake up at 5 😉 ]


Late night (‘the about to go to bed’ time).

Let me explain.


I like mornings because whatever might have happened last night, morning makes you forget almost everything (sometimes it may not be able to make you forget those things but definitely it may vanish the pain to a lot extent which had been terrible the last night).

I always want my mornings to be the mornings when I am not frustrated or I don’t shout on anybody (coz this is common- I really don’t want any interference in my morning pleasure and so I shout at everybody for disturbing me when I am in my quality time).

Also, the cool breeze in the morning- whether its summer, winter or rainy – just mesmerizes me.

And in that coolness, drinking tea/coffee with the family is just so awesome.

Reading the newspaper- again gives immense pleasure.

Then, what I do is just an obvious thing to do for me- I would always do that- I switch on my TV , change to a music channel, increase the volume to a great height and listen the awesome music – sometimes I even groove with the beats- and truly, that’s the most beautiful part of the day.

And now, a new thing has been added to my list- checking mails and browsing the blog world! WOW!!!

What else would be better other than having a great start to your day by the following routine? Just imagine the pleasure of it !

  • Drinking a Tea/coffee
  • Then reading the newspaper
  • Listening to music or dance
  • Blog Browsing

From the past few days, really I have been thinking that the best way to start a day is this routine.

I get overjoyed by experiencing the feeling of reading blogs just after waking up and trust me, its like, I am really experiencing what is written on that blog.

A fresh feeling comes.




As soon as the time to go to bed comes, I get glad! Why? Because I know the time is approaching when no one will say “why are you being so lazy and sleeping”? I love to sleep- coz I love to dream- I love to see what I have never seen- I love to experience what I can never experience in this world!

I also love the bed time coz I know – no one will see if I am thinking something keeping my eyes open or keeping them closed- no one will know if I am smiling at something or crying in the darkness- no one will know if I am deep in my dreams with the highest pleasure I ever had coz my day was good or if I am sleepless coz of something unfortunate that happened in my life. The night time is the quality time of any person- time to analyse oneself – time to imagine things which else would never happen- time to cherish past moments- time to just relax- or time to make plans.

I just love it when I enter my dream world!!!

Which is your best part of the day? Infact, what is in your point of view, an ideal day ??? – Say, an ideal day routine!! What kind of routine you enjoy???

Is spending so many years for ‘this’ education worth it?

7th May
Today, I had been discussing with my father about buying a camera, when a strange thing happened which made me ashamed of myself in spite of these 13 years of education. has offered huge discounts on its products for these 3 days – 6th, 7th and 8th May. On 6th, yesterday, I saw the newspaper, with Amazon’s ad on it. But I didn’t care to go through the offers in a fit of mad anger. This is because I always used to go through such offers but my parents would never pay attention to buying them.

Today, while I was sitting with my father in the living room this afternoon, he showed me the newspaper with Amazon’s ad on the front page.

He told me to see the offer which he had encircled. I saw- – I was delighted for it was a camera with 54% discount. I was happy.

We were discussing about the Megapixels, memory card, etc. etc. when my mother asked me referring to my father, “Would he really buy?”.

I said, “Yes, he would.”

And I and my father both said to my Mom that it is so necessary to have a digital camera especially if people are interested in photography.

He said, “Its 54% off.”

Then he wondered what would be its actual price.

My father is Graduate but I and even he, never thought he was so good in math.

I was wondering the actual price of the camera by the complex algebraic process churning up in my mind. But at the same time my father suggested some other method which I had never heard of.

That’s why I ignored him and kept on doing my work.
Then I took calculator and I started to calculate according to my process (algebraic process which we are taught in schools). It came around Rs. 4250.

I told him but he said,” No, it would definitely be something around Rs.5000”. When he calculated, it came around Rs. 4750.

Then I took a paper and a pen and calculated again systematically which was a very long process of course.

The answer came Rs. 5000 and now I was correct this time.
The price of camera after discount was Rs.2300.

Then my father told how to calculate it on calculator. Type 2300, add 54 with the symbol % to get the answer i.e. 2300+54%. But that was 200% wrong step, we both realized.

Coz in this step we were adding 54% of 2300 to 2300.
The ones who know anything about computer language might know that in computers ‘%’ sign means mod and that is a completely different operation from the way we use this ‘%’ sign.


So, even I suggested my father that in calculators and all, this ‘%’ sign means something else. But he continued to explain me his way.

He said let’s take 5000 according to you to be the actual price.
Type “5000-54% = “ in the calculator.

And guess what?

The calculator showed the result 2300.


That was what we wanted. Now, it was confirmed that Rs.5000 was the actual price and when discounted 54%, it was marked Rs. 2300.

I was shocked!

I asked him to explain me again.
He did.
I couldn’t believe.

Then he said me to explain my method.

I took the paper and pen and solved again the problem with algebraic process and it took me almost a minute to solve systematically.

But through calculator just a few seconds.

I mean to say, its good that in schools we are taught, made to practice and we are tested the actual method how to solve a given problem – the systematic method – which helps us to know what is the logic used behind some digital devices. That is perfectly OK. This method tells us actually what we are doing.

But can we really afford to use this method in real life. REALLY?

Really, we can’t afford to loose one full minute calculating, discount % , discount, actual price, marked price,etc. in front of – say a customer!

My point is- why aren’t we taught practical methods alongwith these theoretical methods???

Why aren’t we made to use calculators to solve DAILY LIF PROBLEMS in schools???

O f course, we can all do basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division on calculators. But can we solve such real life problems on calculators in just one or two steps??— we can’t.

When I got to know this method, I could not look into my father’s eyes, but instead – laughed at myself.

Why are we just made to read MORAL SCIENCE books – why can’t they be TAUGHT to us? Why can’t we be made to understand them?

Theoretical approach is the most important to know the logic behind. But what is its use if we don’t know where it is to be used & how?

Daily life situations definitely need to be handled practically- theoretically , they can only be understood and organized and planned.

An engineer is surely more dignified and educated than the technician. But even he/she can’t do all the work by himself/herself. He can give directions always, but can’t implement always.

While a technician can do all the work if guided , and almost all the works necessary in daily life, just by himself with his experience! Strange! Isn’t it?

So, definitely, students, alongwith being imparted bookish knowledge, should also be made to develop skills. So that, even if they are not good in academics, they can still do something – the basics required for a basic peaceful life!!!

Out of Order!

Yes, I am out of order these days. I am out of my physical as well as mental order. I don’t know why. I think it is because I have nothing to think about these days and it is said ,”An empty mind is a house of the devil.”

I have been suffering so much these days. I don’t have a good routine. I wake up whenever I want, I sleep whenever I want – be it the day time or night, I just keep on using Internet, and my most favorite timepass -TV- is also away from me these days. These days are my summer vacations. It has been 1 and a 1/2 months since the new academic session has started and still I have not started with my self studies. I have given my Board Exams one and a half month before and I decided I would relax for sometime and then start again for class 11th with full and fresh energy.

But I failed to regain that energy, that consciousness, that sound-mind, that ready-to-work behaviour. I don’t know why.

All my classmates and friends have already started to prepare for 11th, 12th and other competitive exams.

And I am still there where I was 1 and a 1/2 months before.

I am ambitious. I think about my future. I have pretty well decided and defined what I want to do in future and when. But I fail to execute. How can I start to execute my plans if my mind is not ready. My mind needs something to occupy it- but that occupation should not be of thoughts- that occupation should be the ‘processing’ required to complete various tasks. And then surely I would be ‘in the order’.

But still I wonder HOW?

I know everything about me coz I have analysed things a lot (more than required).

But I am still there, where I was 1 and a 1/2 months before.

In the hope of ‘my’ revival !


Quake Account!

26th April 2015
6:00 pm

The clouds are thundering and I am seeing lightning. The roaring sound of the wind and of shaking trees is so loud but pleasant as well. Some natural disturbances are very nice and exciting to us just coz we experience them for the 1st time. We laugh and smile at them & enjoy. But, even if we try to, even if we have that sensitivity, we can’t understand the pain that natural disasters give to others who experience them when nature becomes the villain of their lives. Their hard earned money utilized in getting them settled & in making their dream home – all gets wasted.
Yesterday, at near about 11.50 am (25th April) I and my brothers were in our room, sitting on the bed and playing. I was making them write something. We were playing ‘school-school’. (OMG. Again the terrible lightning. Its still a little luminous evening but seems like a beautiful dawn with fresh air briskly blowing).
We were playing, when suddenly my father came to the room and said,
“Tum logon ko pata nahi chala kya?”
(“Didn’t you guys know?”)
I said, “Kya?” (“What?”)
& he said, “Bhookump aaya tha”. (“It was an earthquake.”)

We were all so excited. I know it is quite harsh & rude to say this. But that’s what it was – we were excited. We live in an interior central-east state of India- Chhattisgarh surrounded on its four sides with other states and this keeps us quite protected from natural calamities. That is why we had never experienced any such thing.

My father had felt the tremors, the shaking of the ground but since we were sitting on the bed, playing, we could not.

All of us came out and discussed it with our neighbours. Then I switched on the T.V. and immediately came to know all the details – 7.9 earthquake – epicenter Lamjung in Nepal near
Kathmandu & so on.

But still I felt so excited.

(Now the rain has started. Heavy raindrops are falling. It has become a pleasant weather.)

I could not help myself but to feel excited.

But, I still pray from the core of my heart to the victims of Nepal earthquake, I pray for all the Nepalese who have lost their lives, their property, their heritage, their loved ones, I pray for the Indians in Bihar, West Bengal, Uttar Pradesh who have died in this disaster.

Now I know, it is difficult to understand and feel the pain unless we see it from close.

But we can try atleast!

Proud that our country has rendered a helping hand to our brothers & sisters there in Nepal.
HOPE we understand the need of environment conservation.
Later when I was watching news on TV, I saw, a girl’s head was bleeding very much. She had got hurt due to fight for food and at that particular moment the news reporter was reporting instead of helping her. She was crying like anything. She was shouting in pain. It is sad that that reporter was Indian.

Wish I could move to Nepal and volunteer to help the victims for atleast a month. I could really do so if I was adult and financially independent.

Prayers for victims !