AN HSP —- OMG

Hello everybody

Today I am going to introduce myself to you all a little more—I am going to introduce my HSP side, actually not a side , its whole of me, I am completely an HSP.

You might be wondering what is HSP???

So, here it is HSP – Highly Sensitive /Hyper Sensitive Person

Yes I am a Highly Sensitive Person – more than a quality it sometimes becomes a drawback.

Today’s incident only, an hour back only , I realised this fact again.

I went to a nearby stationary shop to buy notebooks for my new academic session. My friend has bought medium size 200 page notebooks as she thinks they are pretty cute – small and light to be kept in the bag. But I thought at least for Physics and Chemistry I need register size 200 page notebooks because the whole year I need it, since now no more semester system and also I need it for next year as well.How many notebooks I will maintain for a single subject???? -This was my thought. But I didn’t want to be “odd one out” as well.

While I was creating a list for the required things before going to the shop, I kept on thinking and thinking about whether I should buy register size or a medium size one. I kept on imagining what it will look like if I write in each of them and compared them. This was seriously too much thinking coz its just about buying notebooks. Its nothing right or wrong in that. But still I kept on thinking.

Even when I went to the shop, I still kept on thinking and thinking.

It irritated me a lot to think so.

Earlier I had read an article about the problems of HSPs. This is really a problem for me and I am frequently unable to make quick decisions because of this. When I read the article I realized, how I used to take so much time in making such petty decisions. So I decided to try not to care a darn in such petty decision making situations.

So, when I recalled this, then I thought “Let it be. I’ll see what happens. I’ll buy register size ones only.”

And with a hard heart I decided to do so overcoming my HSP problem.

But still its a huge huge and huge problem for me.

Does it also happen with anyone of you???? Please share it with me.

Anyone if knows the solution for this please let me know………….

Sheetal

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From the Treasury Of My Previous Writings — Part 2

Childhood — Lost Somewhere In The Childhood

Oh! I wish those childhood days

Could come back in any way

Childish innocence, love and carelessness

These memories cherish life long seriousness.

When I see my siblings play

My heart really does go fail

Then I regret why I lost

this beautiful morning frost

And became much mature

than had time demanded

Why hadn’t I been childish for long

& have been tension free and daily singing song

I could have played those “baby” games

& have forgotten the “tension’s” name.

I had known which I must have not known

Or I should have known when I had grown more.

Why I was in such a haste

& knew what a mature should and made it all waste.

When I see children around

Jump & fall & laugh around

 My heart really does go fail

& I am almost about to wail.

One more reason for not enjoying

Childhood fully upto its brim

Is that my elders had been so protective

That being a girl I was locked in.

Our minds had already been set

what we call today being conservative

Since we didn’t live in any ‘colony’

Playing was merely a waste of time.

Even I can’t explain all this

But I really do feel this

I can’t write any more coz if I do so

I may feel I’m blaming my society.

I just know this much that I have spent my childhood

The way I should have never done for my good

I had grown mature before time

And had lost that little childish smile

But still I don’t know the reason behind this

So I end up here with just these lines.

An Awkward Situation

Hello everybody

I want to share with you one of the most awkward experiences of my life…….

It happened a few months back………can-stock-photo_csp19624214

Our school had organised a ‘Declamation Competition’ and I had participated in it. I decided to speak a speech of Sushma Swaraj – our country’s Foreign Minister. I had not practiced that much which I needed to- I agree. The reason behind this was that I was constantly busy for a few months for a very important project to be presented at the state level where I and my few other friends and seniors represented our school.

But 2 days before I started to practice and till the day of competition I was prepared enough.

Firstly, my turn was at last almost and I had to go to practice for the Group Dance Competition. Then at last my turn came. I went there. I spoke in Hindi. Actually I was looking for one of my bestiies while speaking….It all went fine until the warning bell rang…. It was the ring for letting me know that my time was about to get over….

But I spoke….

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….. I wanted to complete the part of speech which I had written and submitted to incharge. We had to submit the speech which we were to speak to the incharge.

In the fear that I might not complete what I had written and submitted, I spoke and spoke trying to complete it, and ended up fumbling, leading me to an entirely awkward situation…… I tried to speak and complete what I wanted to ……..

…..but could not.

At last I lost, bowed my head down in sigh………. I could not perform my best………….. not even that much which could let me walk out of that stage with head above……No regret…… That I could complete my task……

But that did not happen……….. I was very disappointed with my casualness……. I could not face any of my schoolmates………… I just went with my head down out of the stage to the backstage ——-actually a sidestage where all other contestants were standing…….. Then I walked the side where the audience was sitting and reached the back of the space where audience was sitting……….I sat down……. More than anyone else, the one person, my bestie whom I was searching for while speaking, I feared that person to face in such an awkward, disgusting, irritating situation.

I remembered I had to go for Dance Practice……… I took permission from one of the teachers sitting there and left……..

And then the most awkward thing happened…….

As I was about to step out of the hall, to the stairway, I just fell down…………And it hurt me very badly…….. on my knees and near shoulder………

I could not bear this……..

I just stood up …..and ran down as fast as I could………. I could realise the teachers and some students sitting at the back turned to see who has fallen……… and I thought a teacher might stand up and follow me to ask whether I was OK or not….

So I ran as fast I could…….. taking the shortcut…..or I may rather say, a not quite open way stairway which ran through the primary building, then I came out through the primary building, passed the ground and suddenly I met my classmate- one of my friends and was relieved……… I told her half the story……….I did not want to tell the whole truth.

Then went with her to the High School Building, walked past the corridor and reached the room where I had to practice.

*** Sometimes trying to manipulate things can be fatal. ***

Sheetal

Today’s Account

So, now I have really got addicted to blogging.2836828090_67d4900ab3_o

It’s really an awesome thing to do. Knowing peeps from around the world, knowing their life, interacting with them, expressing yourself, its all so much fun……. More than fun its ‘feeling light’ in this so exhausting world.

I have read a few blogs today and am quite impressed with and addicted to them.

So much ‘blogging’ is exciting to me that to make people attend to my blog, I have posted so manblogging-employees1y times today.

So, from day after tomorrow, that is from 23rd March, our new session is going to start….. Yay,   I am going to 11th… I will study MY subjects. But this time I am not so excited the way I used to be in earlier classes. Don’t know why?

But most probably, the reason behind this can be……….. so early reopening of school, because day before yesterday only we have finished our 10th Board exams……. and day after tomorrow is our reopening………

Well, today it was a nice day. But sometimes its really important to let people go away from you no matter how important they are. Coz, if u don’t do so, you become obsessed with them and go mad, ultimately making out a fool out of yourself in front of everybody.

Obsession, I think is one of the biggest ailments……

And sometimes people are so shameless that they forget all their ethics and don’t have a bit of morality in them, that they respond to your frequent calls for a simple conversation.

When you and your friend meet and you don’t have any topic to talk upon, realise that their is something really wrong.

From The Treasury Of My Previous Writings

Day by day life seems worser

As if it can now never be better

People are treated

and told love is hated

In this very world

where each one of us

love what is not alive

and hate who live with us.

If the world is made of societies

societies- of people

and people of emotions, emotions and emotions.

Why can’t these be the basis for their reputation .

If people live together

Why can’t they love each-other?

And Is it worth to curb feelings

For such momentary materialistic things?

Ambitions are important

Yes, I agree

But at the cost of relation

Sorry, for I can’t be

Coz I get affected

With each and every word

of ours and others.

Whole day I analyze

My intentions of my lines

which I had spoken to you

And you, and you

And also some are there

miles apart from me and you.

Jolly moments are rare

And when I see their glare

I step out my foot bare

Without any protective wear

As soon as I am to touch and feel them

I fall down and hurt myself

The witnesses then make fun of me

and Insult me in front of everybody.

These witnesses are those whom I

had respected before my plight

But after what they did to me

To respect them is my soul’s and my fight

I try hard to stable these relations

But what stops me are the situations.

And now I think it has been too much

And should walk without any expression- I feel such

And now I feel frustrated

To write about these worst stages

But feelings when written are unstoppable

They flow out themselves – unexpectable………………


Another………..

Every time something we gain

There is something that goes in vain

This ‘something’ may be feelings

may be friends

may be fame.

Or it may be anything

For the situations are not always onething.

There are times when we achieve

What we have always wanted to

What we thought were very high

And always wanted to grab them too.

But sometimes this happens when

We get separated from ourselves

Circumstances make us dishearten

And holding that achievement we break ourselves.

Social gatherings do make us happy

We try to enjoy each and every tiny

For when we are alone at home

We analyze whats wrong with us is going on.

And in these days what we are able to do

Is only possible when we are out with you

and others.

B’coz the rest of the time when at our place

We try to manipulate feelings and make it all disgrace.

Work  load gets worst even more

Expectations reach to the core

Moral strength keeps on going down

and Time — as it always — keeps passing on.

And there’s nothing left

But to regret

Moral strength keeps on going down

and Time — as it always — keeps passing on.

A Post to Gear Up

This is just a random post today.

I am quite concerned about the political conditions here in India. India really needs young volunteers in politics who are very different from the typical politicians.

A few days back I heard on a news that a student of class 11th was arrested in UP who had posted offensive words to provoke religious conflict in the name of Aazam Khan, a local minister. And that guy was immediately arrested in just 24 hrs. It is good that instant action was taken.

But is this kind of action only to be taken against common citizens?

What about MPs, MLAs ???

Saadhvi Prachi isMohan-Bhagwat3 constantly giving offensive speeches and is turning against her earlier spoken words. Moroeover, she says wrong things against ‘Father of our Nation’- Mahatma Gandhi Ji. Saakshi Maharaaj, Bhagwat, what all they speak threatens the unity of our country.

Just check this controversial speech

Then why actions are not taken against them?

When BJP was in opposition, it had opposed against Congress’s statements like this.index

And now what???

Will it not warn its ministers and MPs strictly to stop giving such worthless statements which disturb the harmony of our country???

Sakshi_Maharaj

My First Post on WordPress

And so I start with my first post.

Earlier in the afternoon I had created my blog. From the past few weeks I was constantly thinking of starting to write again. I had many many issues on which I had decided to write. But as I created the blog and was about to write my first post, I got just blank. May be, because of exhaustion…..

Ya, today my Board exams ended. It was English Communicative today. It went very well.

And maybe, because of that exhaustion, I could not think of anything to write in my first post.

From the past few weeks, I had been so eager to write my blog and also eager that people read and respond my writings. I was very eager, excited, so much I can’t explain you. But, as my Boards were on, I could not dare to even jot down a single word to write in the blog. I decided, as soon as the exams will be over , I will start expressing my heart out.

And so I am here with this blog. “DesireToExpress”. Yes, desire to express. More than anything else, it is just my desire to express myself, on whatever topic it may be. I want to express my views and share them with others on the topics of common interest and know people from around the world. I want to know others views on some topics and enhance my understanding in that.

There are so many crucial social, economic, political and natural issues churning up around the world and if we, the youngsters don’t discuss it and take actions, then who else will?

Our ancestors have done enough to quench our thirst. Now, we are pacified with everything we “have”- all our luxuries.  But what we don’t have is real peace, real equality, real progress, real development and a real humanity.

Well, its still the first post. I just wanted to introduce all of you to my blog.

I ,really, with the depth  of my heart, want to bring out to others what I see, I feel, I act and what I ignore, the things which seem to me of utmost importance and the things which immediately need an apt solution…..