My First Music Video – CHALA JAATA HOON

Hey Readers!

I was busy in making a music video for the past 1 month and that’s the reason I was inactive on my Blog.

Have a look at this. A video featuring my Dad!

Hope you all enjoy it!

And yes, please do comment your opinion!

Cheers! 🙂

 

 

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Kill Me !

Kill me as soon as you can

In any way you can

Coz I am a coward

As I can’t survive

As I’m a coward

I cannot end my life.

 

Throat is choked

Each day

Sometimes there’s a reason

Sometimes there’s none.

 

All I’m asking you to do

is to kill me soon

I’m not asking for any favours

to add in my life sweet flavours.

All I’m asking you to do

is to kill me soon

I’ve done a big mistake

To be good & right always

And I can’t change my ways

I just wanna leave this space !

I begged.

Just an awesome piece of writing! The word needs to be spread to bring sensitivity.

I would also like to request you all to watch Fatmagul – a Turkish series that highlights the same issue and shows how the woman strongly fights against this evil and starts her life afresh.

If you would like you can also watch its official Hindi remake titled ‘Kya Qusoor Hai Amla Ka? ” aired on Star Plus.

Trust me – this is th story you need to see!

Srijan.

Walking, on paths unknown.
Right there you were,
In a group of three,
Waiting.

As I walked,
I passed by your words,
This night, a night to remember.

You asked politely,
If you could press my boobs,
An appetite you wished for,
Only to thirst me of the thing,
That made life so beautiful.

My clevage being watched,
By 6 eyes,
On a road so lonely.

Shivers ran down,
And so did your eyes,
As you spanked my ass,
Only to mark the beginning.

I went away,
You followed,
I told you not to,
You did.

With a leap,
You grabbed my hand,
I shouted, you smiled.
Surrounded I was now.

I slapped you,
I lied bleeding now,
With blood near the lips.

I was dragged by my hair,
Howling for mercy,
But you didn’t, care.
Smiling,
I was taken,
To the places so dark,
I wish I would have…

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How I Ruined My Life!

Well, life isn’t over yet, but a major and very important part of life is over! MY SCHOOL DAYS!

I don’t know whether I have become ignorant or what, but I just don’t care about certain things the way I used to. I don’t miss the school that badly which I expected to. Maybe it is because we have dreams that we look forward to which are more important now than looking back. But still, I feel that I have lost a part of me. My thoughts are messed up. Maybe you will get entangled in the misplaced strings of my thoughts and fumble. This year is going to be a bit difficult for me coz I have ruined my life so badly that I need to clean up all the mess this year. I have to compensate for the things that I could do, but I didn’t. I have to move on and accept the beautiful things that are in front of me, rather than thinking that I deserve them or not. But it is all difficult. To know, that you don’t deserve it, but still you get that privilege to feel special. It is difficult to accept such a thing. It is difficult when you know that all through you have been wrong. Still, you are given something that not many are given. It is easy to forgive others, but it is damn difficult to forgive yourself. Coz we know what all wrong we have done. We know what good have we done, but we don’t want to hide our wrongs behind our good deeds. Because, we know ourselves in and out. We really can’t hide anything from ourselves. It’s always there in our sub-conscious mind. And someday or the other, we have to face our own truth.

 

So, how exactly did I ruin my life.

 

First, I always said to myself, today isn’t perfect. I couldn’t start my day the way I wanted to. So, I wouldn’t start my work today. Let me leave it for tomorrow when I will start the day perfectly and everything will go the way I planned. My mood is off today. I am in no position to study. Let me start off tomorrow when I will feel well. The truth is, there won’t always be a day the same as you planned. Not always there will be preferential circumstances. That’s what life is about. To survive even when situations aren’t in your favour. Well, I couldn’t survive, coz I didn’t realise this fact. And I kept on procrastinating. There came a time when I lagged behind so much. I started underestimating myself and then came the inferiority complex. Thinking of all those people who have been working hard day and night and then looking at myself- I got utterly disgusted at myself for being such a bad person. All the negativities grew up inside me.

 

Second, holding on to past. I never could move on with certain things in my life. I always payed heed to even the smallest detailing in everyday events of my life, giving importance to even the needles in the haystack, when the needle was not even needed. And that’s when I decided that I wouldn’t care anymore. Maybe that’s why I have become ignorant. Or maybe I am just tired of all the overthinking and over-analysis that I have been doing past so many years. I am a different person now. I have done certain things going out of my way, way out of my character. I  have initiated conversations, I have tried to overlook the thought of ‘what people will think’, I have ended certain things with a heavy heart and have started certain friendships with a brave step. But do I love my new personality? Well, I don’t know! At this point of time, I am just blank! Totally blank! Not having fulfilled my parents and teachers’ expectations when I had the potential to. But I would be honest to myself and tell that I did try to do better, but I tried when it was too late.

 

Third, I never could express my feelings. I could never. I could never take steps to spend time with my loved ones. Never could I take steps to let them know how much I cared for them. And this is one of the things that I highly regret and will be regretting throughout my life. And this is something that I can never ever mend. Coz I won’t ever get a chance again. Coz even if I get a chance, it would be very inappropriate to express them.

 

Fourth, I always took time for granted in pursuit of perfection. I never wanted to settle for anything less than perfection. And perfection demanded time. And this pursuit for perfection is not only for the big things in my life, but even for the small day to day happenings. And because of it, I have lost many wonderful opportunities in my life. Opportunities that I could have grabbed and could turn into beautiful memories. And thus, I don’t have many memories to cherish, only a handful! And only those handful memories have been in replay mode since all this time and that makes me mad and obsessive. But I am happy for one thing at least. That I started grabbing opportunities and lately, there have been certain successes in this field! 🙂

 

Knowing about what all wrong I did, doesn’t mean that I am over all of them. But just that- I am midway in mending them. Hopefully, I would be able to clean up the mess in my life, that I myself have created and I would be able to be a happy person!

 

Thanks for reading a post full of negative truths!

 

Thank You!

 

*EDIT –  Because of this post, I landed up on a post related to ‘How to let go of Perfectionism’ if it is having negative effects on you. Here’s the link if any of you are going through the same thing.

https://createcoachingconsulting.com/free-yourself-from-perfectionism/

 

 

Beautiful Music Videos -1

Hey Everyone!

How are you all? I hope you are doing good.

From the past few months I have been wanting to share with you all my favourite music videos which always enthrall me. These are the ones which always fascinate me because of their visual appeal. Here’s a list of my favoutites…

  1. Dola Re Dola (Film- Devdas)

    This ever-green classic dance master-piece from an epic movie ‘Devdas’ which has been made several times by many film-makers, is something that will awe you. The beautifully red-themed grand set, the beauty, grace and excellent dance of the great Indian actresses Aishwarya Rai and Madhuri Dixit is something like bench-mark for the Indian film industry. ‘Pinga’ from Bajirao Mastani is apparently inspired from this dance number. The music is too good which will make you thrive with the beats. Every girl back then would dance on this.

  2. Pehla Nasha (Film- Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander)

    The so called ‘first slow motion song’ was, is and will be the ‘Song of the Lovers’ always. Amazing lyrics, amazing choreography and amazing music, will amaze you with the magic this song creates when you listen it.

  3. Jadoo Hai Tera Hi Jadoo (Film- Ghulaam)

    One line for it – filled with beautiful scenes…

  4. Nimbooda Nimbooda (Film- Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)

    Enchanting music that will drape you in its dance beats, it will make your heart, mind, soul and body dance.

  5. Khuda Jaane (Film- Bachna Ae Haseeno)

    Another all time favorite. And will be an all-time favorite for years to come. Starring the new generation sensations- Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor having an amazing chemistry.

2nd Blog Anniversary

It’s been 2 years now… A good span of time! I love this place. It was two years ago that I started this blog, the day my Board Exams got over. And today, I had almost forgotten that today is the day- the special day, because I was busy preparing for another Board Exam tomorrow.

During these 2 years, a LOT has changed. Not just the physical suuroundings and me ageing physically, but a big inner transformation. There are also many important things in my life that remain absolutely same- some problems that don’t wanna leave me. But these two- three years of my life, I will remember with all its intricacies, with every minute detail, about how my Desire To Express my innermost feelings led me to start this blog; about how I came close to a side of Internet that led me to an awakening- to know myself more; about how I found out my passion; about how I started sitting at the window that opens a vast and amazingly beautiful world!

But unfortunately,the past year in this blog was not SO good, as I wasn’t able to devote my time here. But hopefully, after my exams I would be able to resume this journey full-fledgedly.

Dear Readers and co-bloggers,

Thank you for building such a beautiful place. It’s because of all of you guys! Each one of you all have contributed to build this amazing place. I hope we keep growing together… Years later we will have lots of stories of online friendship, support and inspiration to tell!

 

I would gladly like to tell you all that one of my dearest friends has joined this blog community. This is her blog –Urge To Write.

I hope you guys will like her writing as well. She writes amazing poems. Go check them out!

 

Thank You All!

Love

-Sheetal

 

 

An Incomplete Book

This is so damn good…. Every bit of it…. EVERY SINGLE WORD. Just…… heart wrenching, yet optimistic….

SouL SpeakS

          Everyone has a story and every story has a happy ending, but not every story has an end, some are left incomplete. This story was also left incomplete, it was left incomplete because, she was not able to understand and he was not able to explain. They never knew that they are walking on an incomplete road which was under construction and soon their journey would come to an end and their story would remain incomplete.

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Kya Karoon

Bematlab baaton pe ye aankhein ho jaayein ruansa

Bhari bheed mein, inko chhupana mujhe nahi aata

Behad mushkil ho jaaye jab kamzoriyon ko chhupana

Tab wahi asal mein kehlata hai – kamzor ho jaana.

 

Apne aap se gar hone lage nafrat

Pyaar doosron se hi dhoondha karte hain

Bechain ho jaate hain phir har cheez ko lekar

Phir khudi ko chot pahuncha baithte hain.

 

Zindagi bojh to nahi

Par bemanzil safar ban jaati hai

Aise waqt mein

Kaamyaabi bhi khush nahi kar paati hai.

 

Khud se door ho jaayein jab

Paida ho apni qaabiliyat par shak

Bikhar kar reh jaate hain saare armaan

Mar jaate hain saare jazbaat.

 

Khoye rehte hain khud mein hi

Phir bhi khud ka pata nahi

Waqt hai ki kambakht

Behtar hone ka naam leta nahi.

 

Nam hui aankhein ye

Sab dhundhla sa hua

Kya karoon kya nahi

Kuchh bas mein na raha

Samjhoon kaise koi samjhaye

Mujhe kya hua koi bataye

Dil kya kare jab khudi se

Shikayatein hazaar ho jaaye….